Sunday, February 22, 2009
I went to a wedding yesterday with Tori. He didn't log on until the ceremony was over, but we arrived at the reception in time for the traditional newlyweds' first dance and all the subsequent activities. It was Rollem's wedding and all of the old gang was there. We didn't stay long; we left to explore a wine cellar and ended up talking about everything and nothing like we always do while we enjoyed a glass of very common red. Then we went to Zoundz to look for a whistle gesture and discovered it was really a wolf whistle! There were many, many natural and bird sounds so I will probably go back and pick up a few for my garden. And we had fun trying all the silly female gestures.
I was feeling pretty confident about how I had handled seeing all the friends who no longer come to my dances, so we decided to go to Allan's gig. I miss his music (it was always pretty good) and he is definitely entertaining. When we got there, Tori didn't want to dance on Salena's hud (probably being loyal to me) so we pair danced on the intan, changing dances as best I could with the limited variety. I was really feeling good about the fact that I could actually exist in the same area as Allan and not get upset. Then Allan did what Allan does - he dedicated a song to Tori and me! I am not sure what prompted it, but it really upset me that he would do something like that without even asking the "couple" involved! He just made the wrong assumption! And Allan made me uncomfortable so I told Tori I had to leave - that things had been fine up to that point, but I couldn't stay any longer. I thought I had forgiven Allan, but apparently I haven't, even though it has been nearly 4 months. Poor Tori had to deal with my upset and calm me down (which he did by making me laugh.) But I don't think I will be going to any of Allan's sets for a long time. He embarrassed me and I felt like a laughing stock!
Tori and I are friends; very, very good friends. There is no one I would rather spend time with or dance with, but we have spent so much time together over the last few months that everyone thinks we are a couple. And I guess we are, just not in the traditional bf/gf sense. I am not sure if this bothers me. Perhaps I just have a few regrets. There are twists and turns in any relationships and I didn't want to follow the usual progression. I have too much respect for Tori.
So what will today bring? I don't know and I don't care. I will just let (second) life happen...